“Expressing Futility”

The outcome of a recent battle against my own demons produced this piece. Its name and subject are an ongoing theme in many of my darker creations.

“Expressing Futility”

Stuck spinning through eternity
Bound in chains from the very start
Look above to fires dying
Smothered blessings
buried under broken disregards

There is no end to fading dreams
What brightness carried, silence speaks

Fresh paint on a burning city
Cloudy waters obscure tattoos
Look beyond a blind eye crying
Behold the horrors
hiding behind a discolored view

There is no end to fading dreams
What brightness carried, silence speaks

Stuck spinning through eternity
Left to die from the very start
Walking in perpetuity
Is the knife twisting in a heart

© 2018 Andrew Drennen

Photograph taken myself with a Sony DSC-H300, with some digital post-production applied.


The concept of life being, to whatever extent what personally determines, futile is an ongoing theme of mine. Particularly when my depression takes me down into its depths.

To this end, a quote frequently comes to mind. From AFI’s Davey Havok, the eloquent arts that is his poetry and words, gives us this: “An expression of the futility of hope: We try over, and over, only to return.”

Being that I also believe in reincarnation, my depression tends to lead me to feel that, not only is there a certain hopelessness to life, but that we are cursed to experience said hopelessness again, and again.

This is most evident in “Expressing Futility” in the line, “What brightness carried, silence speaks”.

It is a riddle: What does brightness (meaning, perhaps, hope) offer us that is also what we hear in silence?